Based on the work of Gabor Mate.

Gently and lovingly inquire where you would like to say no. Welcome all parts of yourself to notice what you really want.

Ask yourself: What do I want to say no to and what do I have trouble saying no to?

2) What is the belief behind this?

3) Where did that belief come from?

4) Who would I be without this belief?

From this lens of loving awareness one can take action or drop into acceptance. Knowing and witnessing all parts of you.